Royal Enfield for sale: What the ad really means

Sellers of Royal Enfield motorcycles sometimes put hints about the motorcycles' condition in their ads. It's not just what they say, it's how they say it.

You might imagine the signals they're sending as radio transmission from a ship at sea. Something like this:

Radio transmission: "SS Albion, 30 miles out of Miami. Fair weather, calm seas. Engine at full speed."

Resulting ad: "For Sale. Flagship steamer. Just inspected. Low miles. Engine excellent. Never been down."

Radio transmission: "SS Albion here. Taking on water. Started pumps. Engine failing."

Resulting ad: "For Sale. Freighter. Fresh registration in Panama. Runs and rides. Needs some TLC."

Radio transmission: "SS Albion. Barometer falling. Seas rising. Pumps unable to keep up. Engine stopped."

Resulting ad: "For Sale. Tramp steamer. Clear title. Excellent shipyard project. Engine has compression."

Radio transmission: "SS Albion. SOS. Sinking. Exact position unknown. 20 souls on board and one tomcat."

Resulting ad: "For Sale. Rust bucket. Bill of sale only. As is, where is."

Radio transmission: "SS Albion. Abandoning ship. Tomcat gave birth to 12 kittens."

Resulting ad: "For Sale: Kittens."

From RoyalEnfields.com